1. Never place your Bike keys on your seat after locking up your Bike because if
you swing your leg over the seat to get off your Bike you can accidently knock
the keys (attached to the PLASTIC key fob and “gremlin bell”) down between the
red hot smoldering muffler and the frame: and mark my words the keys will get
caught on the “gremlin bell” and not fall to the ground like they should. The
key fob will probably melt unless you can figure out how to retrieve your keys
without burning your fingers. However, if you are riding with someone else who
is willing to save your key fob from melting, by putting their hand between the
smoldering hot muffler and frame, thereby burning their hand instead of burning
yours, it’s a good thing. Buy them an ice water to say thank you; they can drink
it or soak their hand.

2. Make sure your helmet strap is properly closed under your chin or snapped
shut before you take off down the road to avoid the realization that at 55+Mph
your helmet isn’t secure and thereby have to ride holding onto your helmet
straps because the helmet bouncing up and down on your head and will be
airborne at any moment – and of course the road you’re on doesn’t seem to have
room to pull over because you’re concentrating on the helmet and the road in
front of you. However the Biker you are riding with somehow notices your
dilemma (lucky they let you lead), passes you and leads the way to a safe stop
to fix the problem.

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The Season of the Bike
by Dave Karlotski

There is cold, and there is cold on a bike. Cold on a bike is like being beaten with coldhammers while being kicked with cold boots, a bone bruising cold. The wind’s big hands squeeze the heat out my body and whisk it away; caught in a cold October rain, the drops don’t even feel like water. They feel like shards of bone falling from the skies of Hell to pock my face. I expect to arrive with my cheeks and forehead streaked with blood, but that’s just an illusion, just the misery of nerves not designed for highway speeds.

Despite this, it’s hard to give up my bike in the fall and I rush to get it on the road again in the spring; lapses of sanity like this are common among bikers. When you let a motorcycle into your life you’re changed forever. The letters “MC” are stamped on your driver’s license right next to your sex and height as if “motorcycle” was just another of your physical characteristics, or maybe a mental condition.

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Popularity: 2% [?]